Going to China to find a bride starts with a simple meeting. Some men rely on fate and hope that they connect with a beautiful Chinese girl on their next visit to Shenzhen or Chongqing. But this can be difficult or nearly impossible, because many Chinese girls and families are still not open to interracial marriages. If you’re set on finding a demure, dutiful and pretty Chinese wife, being introduced in a social gathering organized by a matchmaking company is the best option. There is an American company the offers such “Romance Tours“to the city of Shenzhen. That company is A Foreign Affair, based in Phoenix, Arizona.

The Introduction

In these events you can ask an interpreter to introduce you to the girl you have your eye on. There is no need to second guess her intentions because only eligible Chinese women open to starting a relationship with a western man will be invited to these events. But you still have to go through the initial introduction to get your relationship started.

You can also browse the profiles on the Romance Tour company’s web site and make contact with several ladies ahead of time and invite them to the upcoming socials where you can meet them in person and with translator’s present. Of course it is also helpful to choose ladies that say they can speak at least a little English, that is, if that is your language of choice.

The Conversation

After asking a third party from the matchmaking company to introduce you, you can continue your conversation. This is the tricky part. While it’s likely that the woman practiced her English before meeting you, you should brush up on your mandarin to get the conversation going.
She wouldn’t expect you to learn the symbols, but you can easily distinguish the sounds that make up the Chinese language. Start with greetings and simple phrases to let her know what you feel. Train with your interpreter when it comes to important phrases such as “you’re beautiful” and “I like you”. There are many ways to express these phrases but there is a certain way to make sure you’re saying the phrases like a potential boyfriend would.

Expressing Your Emotions

Connecting with a Chinese girl is not a long process, because you can hit it off right away. However, saying the equivalent of “I love you” in her language can sound insincere if you’ve only known each other for a short while. Say the equivalent of “I like you”, instead. This means you’re starting your relationship as friends with a potential to become a couple.

Meeting Her Family

When a Chinese girl introduces you to her family, it means she’s serious about you. The Chinese have different value systems that are too complicated to take in all at once. Plus, your girl will be there to guide you through the basics of meeting and greeting older folks.

You can manage just by remembering how the concept of “luck” is relevant to the Chinese. Ask a credible source, like the matchmaking company representatives, for guidance on which colors represent good luck and which ones should never be used for certain occasions. Also, remember the Chinese idiosyncrasies like self-deprecating behavior and downplaying the strengths of their relatives. A good way to interpret this cultural quirk is to see it as “fishing for compliments”. For example if someone apologizes for the quality of the food, it’s your cue to say the food is great.

Going Out

While the purpose of this trip is to find a special girl, you can relax and enjoy the rest of the trip with the girl acting as your guide around the city. Going out on a date means eating out, so practice eating with chopsticks before your trip. While there are establishments that would offer forks and spoons for your use, you don’t want to change venues just because you can’t use chopsticks and these utensils are not available. If you’re still learning or your hand has gone numb with the unfamiliar eating nuance, order a sandwich instead.

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