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Article: When The Right One Comes Along
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When The Right
One Comes Along by Lu Huskey |
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Have you ever wanted something so badly that you just weren't
willing to wait for it? Patience runs thin when we are in a hurry and
want things right now; especially when it comes to love. It seems we
just can't accept ourselves as we should and just enjoy our own
company. We honestly do need to know ourselves before we try to get to
know someone else too intimately. By being secure in our own
self-esteem and confidence, we are able to go places and enjoy things,
even when we might be alone, because we truly are our own best friend.
Rose had been married and divorced twice, and with that track record,
she was very reluctant to get into any kind of new relationship. Most
men started out treating her in a very kind, very compassionate way, but
after marriage, it seemed things changed and she just felt as if she was
being taken advantage of.
She did keep dating, however, because the one thing in life that she
didn't want was to be alone. Her mother, Alice, had lived a life of
loneliness and Rose wasn't about to follow in her footsteps. At six
years old, her father died from an unforeseeable illness, leaving her
mother to raise three children on her own. Without much money, Alice
was forced to go out into the workplace making a living to support her
little family and without much education, she ended up in minimum wage
jobs that barely made ends meet. Rose was left alone with her other
sisters quite often, and as an adult, she longed for male affection and
companionship.
Her one goal in life was to find a man. She wanted this more than
anything else, especially since she had never really known the love of a
man before. Her first husband she married at 18, which enabled her to
get out of the house and start her own place in life. He was a
17-year-old guy in the military, so somewhat like her mother, she ended
up alone much of the time, which was certainly not what she had in
mind. Joe would write her letters and call her on the telephone, which
was some comfort, but it wasn't the same as waking up together in each
other's arms. Being such an immature age, he also succumbed to the
advances of other women while he was away, which ended the marriage
after just two years. Rose just couldn't deal with knowing that he was
playing around with other women and she wasn't about to sit home and
wait while that was going on.
Out of money and love, Rose moved back home with Alice and her little
sisters, only to be told over and over how foolish she was to move out
in the first place and marry such a loser guy. Alice had never liked
Joe, and had never minded letting her know it.
Once again, Rose met a very good looking fellow who she knew must be the
right one, so she married him. Again, he was unfaithful to her and she
divorced him. She was ready to just give up on ever having anyone who
would be true to her.
Rose wondered if she could ever hold onto a man again, but that didn't
stop her from marrying the first man who came along. He was an older
man and a business owner with money, so that was a deciding factor in
her decision to rush into marriage. She needed emotional and financial
stability and this was what she was waiting for. The problem with this
one is that she didn't really love him as a wife should love a husband.
He was such a nice man though, and going back to her need to have a male
figure in her life, she married him after just dating him just 5 weeks.
What a diamond ring he gave her! It was the most beautiful piece of
jewelry she had ever seen!
About two years later their first baby came along, and such a pretty
baby she was. Little Diana was everything to Rose, so they decided to
have another child, and Jake was born not long afterwards. Here she
was, a housewife in a beautiful home with two beautiful children and a
loving husband; but he was a husband she didn't love and that left her
with an emptiness she had never known.
One day, she decided to get involved with a local civic group in her
town. She met a good-looking guy who was close to her age. He was
such a friendly man and so charismatic. Rose had never met anyone like
him and she was immediately drawn to Charles. He wasn't married and
they had endless chats at the meetings she attended, but she felt
herself growing closer and closer to him. What would she do? Here she
was falling in love with the man of her dreams. Finally someone she had
waited for all of her life had appeared, but it was too late because she
already was set in a marriage with small children and felt there was no
way out.
Rose went to these civic meetings every week, meeting Charles there and
always going for coffee afterwards, but nothing more. After her first
two failed marriages and her ex-husband's infidelities, she could not go
down this road herself. She remembered the hurt she felt and just could
not inflict this on her children or her devoted husband. So, she
remained “friends" with Charles for several years before the time came
when he asked her to decide between the life she had and the life of
love he could offer. But, so afraid of losing little Diana and Jake,
she declined him over and over until finally he left town and she never
heard from him again. As the old song tells us, it truly is “sad to
belong to someone else when the right one comes along "
Our friend Rose was just in too big of a hurry to “get hitched". She
felt incomplete without a man, and this was partly due to the absence of
a father in her life. By not growing up around men, she had a deep need
to fill that void, but had she recognized this as the reason or basis
for all these relationships, perhaps Rose might have made better
choices. We do deserve the best and the best certainly is worth waiting
for.
Patience is such a virtue that, as a whole, we all have to work on in
life. By not waiting for the right husband (or wife), we are doing
ourselves an injustice. By marrying the wrong people just to get out of
the house or keep from being alone, we sacrifice our very souls by
living with people we really don't love (or sometimes even like) that
much. Always be fair to yourself, and true to your heart and feelings
and you will never find yourself alone in this world.
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Lu Huskey is an aspiring writer, liturgical musician, and owner of
her own consulting company. Her experience in relationships is reflected
in a successful 20 years marriage and being a mother of three.
Lu writes for DrDating , a web site for anyone looking for love online.
We have hundreds of articles, E-Books and links to some great dating and
love sites all over the world. DrDating also offers reviews of some of
the most popular dating sites and books.
http://www.DrDating.com/
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