It doesn't matter how you got to be single in your mid-thirties.
What does matter, however, is that you have certain priorities in
order so that you can protect yourself and those you date from getting
hurt. There are too many reasons to list on why you're
on the market at this stage in your life, but you should be clear
on your goals, both long and short-term. You don't want
to be led on or trapped into something you didn't want in the
first place.
The very first things you need to consider
are your short and long-term relationship goals. If you are
a confirmed bachelor (or bachlorette) you definitely don't want
to be dating someone who is determined to settle down and start
a family. Age is often tied to this as well. A twenty-something
may be looking for a good time or to tie the knot. While a
boy toy or trophy can be fun in the short-term, if you are looking
for a serious relationship you may want to look elsewhere.
There are a lot of things to consider when dating either
above or below your age bracket. If you fall for someone who
is a lot younger, you may get hurt because they can lack maturity
that comes only from life experience. Twenty-somethings are
often still trying to figure out where they fit in, and are still
forming their goals. Another problem is children; they may
or may not want them. If you get really serious, as in any
age bracket, you need to discuss each other's views on children.
On the other hand, if you date someone much older than you
there are some problems to be aware of as well. Older people
tend to have already decided what they want out of life, and generally
are not too excited to change course. If you really want to
settle down, don't go chasing after the man or woman who has
no intention of a long-term relationship. Also, there are
certain generation gaps that have to be considered. Your older
lover may not appreciate going to see your favorite rock group in
concert. With consideration and understanding, however, many
obstacles of dating older and younger people can be overcome.
Another thing to consider is your financial position.
Have you dedicated the last ten years to getting ahead in your career
and the rewards that come with that? Are you willing to give
up half of your money in a divorce? You will have to decide
what is important depending on the person you are dating.
Even people who aren't married have had their lover run off
with the bank account. Protect yourself, and if necessary,
seek the advice of an attorney before you propose or accept a proposal.
Finally, if you have children you need to consider the type
of people that are entering your life. Do you want to bring
any and all of your dates to meet them, or are you going to wait
for someone fairly serious? You also have to try to uphold
the values that you want your children to follow in their lives.
You are a role model, and how you conduct yourself does make an
impression on your children.
In short, be smart about what
you are doing. Don't leave yourself open to be taken advantage
of. Most of all, though, have fun and good luck in pursuing
your romantic endeavors.
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Heather Jaillett is a freelance writer from Washington State.
After extensive dating she finally found her soul mate. She
still advises many on dating solutions, and is constantly researching
relationships and romance. Exploring ways to add romance to
electronic communication is also another pursuit she enjoys.
Heather Jaillett writes for DrDating , a web site for anyone
looking for love online. We have hundreds of articles, E-Books and
links to some great dating and love sites all over the world. DrDating
also offers reviews of some of the most popular dating sites and
books.
http://www.DrDating.com/
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