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Browsing through the personal classifieds can be quite frustrating
if you really don't know what qualities or the type of personality
it is that you are searching for in the person you are seeking,
or in the relationship you are seeking.
Questions you need
to ask yourself before and as you are reading through the personal
sections again are: Why are you searching for someone, do you want
a companion, a serious relationship or just to make friends with
someone new with the hopes of dating. Who are you looking for, are
you searching for someone tall, short, thin, stout, young, old,
divorced, widowed, single, married, and the list goes on to include
all personal choices and preferences in people.
Discussing
this theory a little more in detail - If you have a problem dating
someone with kids, you should skip over the classifieds that reveal
those people who have kids or you will only be letting yourself
down in the end when you are building a relationship. This
theory pertains to all of the listings, for example, if you are
searching for someone that is just for you, without ever sharing
that person with another, search for someone who has never been
married or who is not a widow (widower). Once you know whom
you are searching for, you will be able to read the personal classifieds
with more confidence and decision making abilities.
Read
the classifieds completely, tracking the writing that interests
you the most so that you can go back and compare, reread or contact
that person. Reading through the entire personal section,
or at very least the section that applies your target interest group,
you will find a variety of people with vast differences in personalities
just through the short descriptions available.
Now is the
tough time to write your contact letter, made much simpler if you
have already created your profile for replies to read about you.
Starting your reply is easy with an opening such as, �I have read
your profile and found you are most intriguing (interesting, exciting,
provocative) or you could use something more elaborate such as �Your
profile interested me to the point where I had to contact you right
away to find out what we have in common. While there are many
expressions and various phrases you can use when writing your opening
letter, the contact letter is truly going to be a reflection of
your personality, and what you are searching for in a relationship.
The first example of �I have read your profile and found you
are most intriguing", would reveal that you are interested.
Are you searching for friendship in the classified section?
Try using the first example building on that sentence to read along
the lines of: �I would like the opportunity to get to know you better
and talk a while. But if you are searching for a lover through
the personals, the second sentence could read: �I really would love
to get to know you better, find out what type of person you are
searching for and hopefully to create a match with you. The
point here is to keep your true feelings within the boundaries of
words, not scaring off someone if you are just wanting to be friends,
while on the other hand if you are searching for a lover don't hide
behind words of a friendly chat.
Top ideas to use in your
opening introduction letter are express your interest to your potential
date using your writing to express why you are contacting that person.
Reveal to this person how you propose to meet their needs in their
search for a friend, companion or lover using expressive words such
as �I intend to" or �I would like to" or even �I have been searching
through the classifieds and found your profile appealing to me because".
Give just a few hints about your where you are located, without
revealing to much about your without determining whether the two
of you will continue a conversation. Use phrases like, �I
am from the east coast" or �I live south of California" or other
such general terms, revealing your location to a particular location
through later conversations. Your initial contact with a proposed
date should be about the type of person you are searching for, why
you have been using resources online to search for someone special,
and what you are hoping to gain from a relationship from this person
with personal details revealed through additional conversations
as your �relationship" trust grows.
Online personals have
been created for the user to act anonymously while investigating
the possibilities of friendship, love and for finding that someone
special to spend your life with. Using your thoughts and feelings
through this situation, creatively with expressive words without
misleading readers will allow you to reach your destination, of
finding that someone special, faster and easier that you would be
able to in any other situation.
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Cheryl Lewis, freelance writer, married and mother of three.
Based in the Mountains of PA
Cheryl writes for DrDating is
a web site for anyone looking for love online. We have hundreds
of articles, E-Books and links to some great dating and love sites
all over the world. DrDating also offers reviews of some of the
most popular dating sites and books.
http://www.DrDating.com/
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