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Browsing through the personal classifieds can be quite frustrating
if you really don’t know what qualities or the type of personality it is
that you are searching for in the person you are seeking, or in the
relationship you are seeking.
Questions you need to ask yourself before and as you are reading through
the personal sections again are: Why are you searching for someone, do
you want a companion, a serious relationship or just to make friends
with someone new with the hopes of dating. Who are you looking for, are
you searching for someone tall, short, thin, stout, young, old,
divorced, widowed, single, married, and the list goes on to include all
personal choices and preferences in people.
Discussing this theory a little more in detail - If you have a problem
dating someone with kids, you should skip over the classifieds that
reveal those people who have kids or you will only be letting yourself
down in the end when you are building a relationship. This theory
pertains to all of the listings, for example, if you are searching for
someone that is just for you, without ever sharing that person with
another, search for someone who has never been married or who is not a
widow (widower). Once you know whom you are searching for, you will be
able to read the personal classifieds with more confidence and decision
making abilities.
Read the classifieds completely, tracking the writing that interests you
the most so that you can go back and compare, reread or contact that
person. Reading through the entire personal section, or at very least
the section that applies your target interest group, you will find a
variety of people with vast differences in personalities just through
the short descriptions available.
Now is the tough time to write your contact letter, made much simpler if
you have already created your profile for replies to read about you.
Starting your reply is easy with an opening such as, ‘I have read your
profile and found you are most intriguing (interesting, exciting,
provocative)’ or you could use something more elaborate such as ‘Your
profile interested me to the point where I had to contact you right away
to find out what we have in common’. While there are many expressions
and various phrases you can use when writing your opening letter, the
contact letter is truly going to be a reflection of your personality,
and what you are searching for in a relationship.
The first example of ‘I have read your profile and found you are most
intriguing’, would reveal that you are interested. Are you searching
for friendship in the classified section? Try using the first example
building on that sentence to read along the lines of: ‘I would like the
opportunity to get to know you better and talk a while’. But if you are
searching for a lover through the personals, the second sentence could
read: ‘I really would love to get to know you better, find out what type
of person you are searching for and hopefully to create a match with
you’. The point here is to keep your true feelings within the
boundaries of words, not scaring off someone if you are just wanting to
be friends, while on the other hand if you are searching for a lover
don’t hide behind words of a friendly chat.
Top ideas to use in your opening introduction letter are express your
interest to your potential ‘date’ using your writing to express why you
are contacting that person. Reveal to this person how you propose to
meet their needs in their search for a friend, companion or lover using
expressive words such as ‘I intend to’ or ‘I would like to’ or even ‘I
have been searching through the classifieds and found your profile
appealing to me because’. Give just a few hints about your where you
are located, without revealing to much about your without determining
whether the two of you will continue a conversation. Use phrases like,
‘I am from the east coast’ or ‘I live south of California’ or other such
general terms, revealing your location to a particular location through
later conversations. Your initial contact with a proposed ‘date’ should
be about the type of person you are searching for, why you have been
using resources online to search for someone special, and what you are
hoping to gain from a relationship from this person with personal
details revealed through additional conversations as your ‘relationship’
trust grows.
Online personals have been created for the user to act anonymously while
investigating the possibilities of friendship, love and for finding that
someone special to spend your life with. Using your thoughts and
feelings through this situation, creatively with expressive words
without misleading readers will allow you to reach your destination, of
finding that someone special, faster and easier that you would be able
to in any other situation.
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Cheryl Lewis, freelance writer, married and mother of three. Based
in the Mountains of PA
Cheryl writes for DrDating – a web site for anyone looking for love
online. We have hundreds of articles, E-Books and links to some great
dating and love sites all over the world. DrDating also offers reviews
of some of the most popular dating sites and books.
http://www.DrDating.com/
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