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Has it been a while since you have been out on a date, or maybe you
haven’t been able to get a second date after your first date fiasco,
this article is written as a refresher course into dating etiquette and
for your learning more about what your date might like.
Rule number one when you are on a first date is to always be you. Don’t
try to portray yourself as someone you are not. If you put forth a
‘fake’ personality, career, or even an untrue past, the future between
you and your date will be a doomed failure from the start. If you are
truly going to be honest in a relationship, you will be together because
you and the other have built a relationship based on real facts,
thoughts and ideas. False starts create doubts in a relationship that
are difficult if not impossible to overcome.
Another steadfast rule in the dating world is do not try to focus the
entire date about yourself and your world. Keep your date interested in
conversation about worldly happenings, local happenings or even by
asking them about themselves. Continual conversation brings about a
great date for the both of you. Focus on today without focusing on
where you will be tomorrow with this person; if the relationship is
meant to be it will happen naturally. This brings together the honesty
in the relationship through conversation. The sharing of real events,
thoughts and ideas in both of your lives is how a second date is brought
about because of the attraction to want to learn more about the other
person by spending more time with that person.
Combining the rules
Using the two major rules as discussed above and implementing small
special effects to your date will bring out the best in a budding
relationship while creating lasting memories for the two of you. These
‘special effects’ in a first date can be very small gestures of kindness
that portray the real person in you. While there are, many traditions
that have changed over the years the following are a few you may need to
acquaint yourself with. These new ‘traditions’ include the arriving in
separate cars (for safety reasons), double dating (again for safety when
not knowing the other person very well at all), and in going dutch on a
date (creating the ‘equality’ feeling if needed), there are still a
variety of personal effects that you can use to impress your date.
When you are discussing going out, ask if he / she would like to use one
car – opting for whichever the both of you feel most comfortable with
for the time being. You could also suggest that the two of you take
cabs if you are going clubbing on a first date, resulting in not having
either party on the date having to worry about drinking and driving.
As you arrive on your date, whether you are going for a walk in the
park, going to the movies or going to dinner, let your date know if you
like how they look, how they dress, or even if you like something about
where you are going. Complimenting the other person on their appearance
creates a feeling of inner confidence for that person, which brings
confidence to your date because the person will feel they can compliment
you in return in regards to what they like about you, without making you
feel embarrassed as well.
There are a variety of simple gestures you can also use throughout your
time on your date to make the two of you feel at ease. These gestures
include: simply walking side by side, looking at each other when asked a
question that involves the both of your input, and compromising as
needed on your first date. Compromise about what the two of you do with
your time together, let the date be something that the both of you would
like to do or see while on your first date. Good examples of a first
date might be walking through a fair, going window-shopping in the mall,
watching fireworks, dancing, or you could even go to a concert that you
agree to see.
When you are on a date, do your best not to finish sentences for someone
when they are speaking to you in conversation. You may not realize this
could appear rude when you finish a sentence for another but the
conversation meaning could be altered, differed from his or her original
thought. Keep the conversation balanced by asking questions about the
other person’s life, ideas in life, and thoughts about what is going on
in your surroundings.
No matter what sex you are, if the other person on your date is walking
behind you, hold the door and allow them to walk ahead of you. Common
courtesy in a relationship is the basis for a great friendship that is
possible to bloom into more if nurtured.
While it may mean that you will have to restrain yourself, do not try to
keep you date out longer than what they want to be. There are some very
good reasons why a person may need to be home by midnight that you may
not be aware of. Some of these reasons could include: early shift the
next morning, they only have a babysitter for a certain time, they must
have the car back by a certain time, they don’t feel comfortable in
their neighborhood after a certain hour, they worked an early shift that
day, or maybe the other person isn’t feeling well at that particular
time.
One or both of you can inquire about contacting each other again, with
numbers exchanged if easily agreed upon. If you find yourself in a
situation where one is hesitant to give out a phone number, the other
(who asked) might make an easy come back in conversation saying: ‘We
don’t have to worry about it right now, I’ll just talk to you later when
I see you…’ using wherever you met as a starting point in seeing that
person again. As your date is nearing a close, be sure to ‘Thank’ the
other person for spending some time with you, letting them know you had
a good time with them if you did. Your being polite is a great trait to
be remembered by when another is thinking about your date and the time
you have spent together.
Using a few of the small gestures as listed here and using some of your
own creative ideas, while you are on a first date, will increase your
chances for a successful first date. Combining the special gestures and
ideas into your first date while implementing your ‘real’ side and your
‘honesty’ in conversation will be the basis for a solid relationship.
Remember, the reason for going on a date is to learn more about a person
and for growing friendships between people, not to be looking for love
around every corner or in every person that you may encounter.
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Cheryl Lewis, freelance writer, married and mother of three. Based
in the Mountains of PA
Cheryl writes for DrDating – a web site for anyone looking for love
online. We have hundreds of articles, E-Books and links to some great
dating and love sites all over the world. DrDating also offers reviews
of some of the most popular dating sites and books.
http://www.DrDating.com/
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